• People think that only uneducated, working class women are abused.
  

• People think that drink and drugs cause abuse.
  

• People think that stress causes domestic violence.
   
• People think that women who are abused ask for it or provoke it in some way.
   
• People think that women enjoy being abused.
   
• People think that women who are abused are a bit mad.
   
• People think that if you were abused as a child, then you will become an abuser when you are an adult.
  

THESE ARE NOT TRUE.

• People think that only uneducated, working class women are abused.
  THIS IS NOT TRUE.
  Women are abused in all cultures, regardless of educational level, class or religious belief.

• People think that drink and drugs cause abuse.
  THIS IS NOT TRUE.
  There are abusers who are sober when they are abusive towards their partners, just as there are abusers who don't drink or take drugs. Alcohol and drugs may make the abuse worse, but they are not the cause of abuse and can not be used as an excuse for the abuse.

• People think that stress causes domestic violence.
  THIS IS NOT TRUE.
  Stress may spark off abusive behaviour, but it does not cause the abuse. If some people are so stressed that they have to abuse their partners, why don't they abuse their friends, or their colleagues or boss at work?

• People think that women who are abused ask for it or provoke it in some way.
  THIS IS NOT TRUE.
  Many people think that if a woman is abused, it is because she nags a lot, or answers back and needs to be put in her place. But no one asks to be abused. Abusers must be responsible for their own behaviour.

• People think that women enjoy being abused.
  THIS IS NOT TRUE.
  No woman enjoys being abused. She may accept the abuse, perhaps because she does not believe she can escape it. Accepting abusive behaviour and enjoying it are two very different things.

• People think that women who are abused are a bit mad.
  THIS IS NOT TRUE.
  Sometimes people think that a woman must be mentally ill to allow the abuse. Although some women may become depressed or suffer from anxiety attacks or some other mental disorder, this is because of the abuse. There are many abused women who are not mentally ill.

• People think that if you were abused as a child, then you will become an abuser when you are an adult.
  THIS IS ONLY PARTLY TRUE.
  It is true that many abusers were themselves abused as children. But there are abusers who have never been abused, as well as people who were abused as children, who never become abusers. We are all responsible for our own behaviour.

So why does abuse happen?

Cultures and religions often seem to place men in positions of authority over women. Having authority is interpreted as having control over others.

The culture of violence in which we live makes violence seem like an acceptable way of dealing with conflict, within oneself or among people.

Abusive men use violence as a way of controlling women.

Abusive men use violence as a way of dealing with their own problems.

Abusive men must take responsibility for their behaviour.

With acknowledgements to POWA.